“Korean Grand Prix a huge success” say organisers

OCTOBER 25th YEONGAM COUNTY
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Korean Grand Prix a Huge Success!

The organisers of the inaugural Korean Grand Prix today paid tribute to their building contractor for ensuring the incredible success of Sunday’s event, in the face of unfair negative criticism from evil western journalists.

“We have proved to the doubters who said the circuit would not be ready in time that South Korea can host motor racing at the highest level” said a representative.

In a unique example of F1 fan spirit, ticket holders in the stands at the end of the signature main straight constructed their own grandstand from bits of metal and wood lying around in the runoff area, even clearing a small section of forest in order to provide a clear vantage point as cars skidded around on the unfinished bitumen heading into turn 1.

A packed calendar of supporting events for fans included ‘paint your very own F1 track curb’, ‘tie some tyres together and build a tyre wall’ and ‘watch Charlie Whiting plead with 24 irate drivers not to boycot the event’.

“I don’t see what all the fuss was about” said Bernie Ecclestone shortly before disappearing into a large sinkhole which mysteriously appeared on the grid after the drivers parade “this Koreans certainly give Silverstone something to aim at”

Drivers too were enthusiastic about the circuit. Lewis Hamilton summed up the drivers’ view, saying: “When I realised we’d have to swerve around several raised manhole covers on the main straight, and saw that the pit buildings didn’t really have a back or sides, I must admit to being sceptical, but the feeling of cornering at 150mph with only a few temporary fences betweeen yourself and a muddy field is what F1 is all about. The unexpected gas explosion in the paddock just added to the drama”

Karun Chandock retains the lap record of 4 and a half minutes after the FIA required the entire race to be run behind the safety car with the pitlane speed limiter on.

All of this was of limited impact on the championship, as all 5 serious contenders got bogged down on the unmade gravel surface of the pitlane on the way to the grid.

“I look forward to returning to Korea next year” enthused Vettel, unaware that the entire complex had sunken into the ground and disappeared shortly before his press conference  in what organisers were calling “no big deal”.

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